The Other Side of This Life
by Eanna Malkavia
Summary: Outside BAU, Spencer Reid has a long term girlfriend named Hannah. He is the love of her life. Outside BAU, Aaron Hotcher is joyful, fun and has a thing for Hannah. It's mutual, yet both forbid their relationship from crossing that line. Hannah has rules for her open relationship with Spencer, and Aaron could violate it. Aaron won't, because of Haley. Behind the scenes of each epi
1. Prologue

**DISCLAIMER: CBS owns all Criminal Minds characters. All OC characters, Hannah, Matthew, and their family, are mine.**

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: This story is a re-publish. It was originally called _Life is Messy but Love is Messier_. I wasn't happy with it so I did a major overhaul and re-write. If you read the previous version, you'll notice big changes. Certain details have been altered or completely removed. I hope everyone likes the new story. I'm happier with it. Thank you and please review!**

_Prologue_

Spencer Reid and Hannah Darrow met at a fraternity party at Stanford when they were seventeen. Hannah's best friend, twenty-two year old Jenna, accompanied her while Spencer's friend Paul dragged him to the party to show people his magic tricks. Spencer didn't regret it. He met Hannah.

He first spotted her when she breezed in behind Jenna. Hannah looked like a sea goddess in her blue and green dress. Spencer turned away before she looked his way, too nervous to even smile at her. When she glanced at him, Hannah saw the deck of cards in his hand and his watch over his sleeve. She knew what the eccentricity meant; a trait of a gifted mind. Hannah always picked up on what people said and did. Her parents, famous psychologists, taught all eight of their kids how to observe and analyze. She made a mental note to track down the guy with the watch over his sleeve later.

Hannah stumbled upon him as they both stared at the alcohol bottles. Spencer studied the alcohol volumes; Hannah contemplated outright theft of a bottle of rum. That idea vanished the moment she looked up and saw Spencer, his hair disheveled and a watch over his sleeve.

She grabbed his hand and led him up to the roof to see the stars. Two minutes later their legs dangled over the roof ledge. They talked astronomy, mythology, Star Wars and Star Trek, classes, friends, literature and psychology until the party dispersed and the guy who lived under their ledge told them to get off his roof. Their conversation continued in whispers as they dashed out of the fraternity. They wandered campus for a half hour, looked up as the sun rose, then headed for the nearest apartment, Hannah's, just a few blocks off campus.

Before they arrived Hannah explained her roommate situation. She lived with her oldest brother, Don. So long as Hannah checked in with him around breakfast, lunch, and dinner, refrained from sex until she turned eighteen and alcohol until her twenty-first birthday, and did her homework, he didn't pry and he let her enjoy her freedom away from their parents. In exchange for this, she let him stay over at his girlfriend Tracy's apartment as much as he wanted and lied to their parents about what each of them did. Her twin brother Matthew, still in high school in Los Angeles, helped them out each time he warned them of a surprise visit.

After her explanation, Spencer didn't want to go to her place, until she explained Don made plans with his girlfriend for the whole weekend.

Almost two months later, they moved in together, less than a month after Spencer's eighteenth birthday on the ninth of October, and the night before Hannah's eighteenth birthday on Halloween.

They also agreed on an open relationship before they started to look for apartments.

Their relationship worked, and flourished. They didn't see their relationship as an obstacle, but as opportunity. Spencer's work required he travel often, and even though he don't know how to flirt with woman not his girlfriend, he always had the chance to try it out. Also, Hannah could not handle or even participate in a monogamous relationship, despite her love for Spencer.

Of their entire extended family, just Hannah and Matthew sought out, crafted, and maintained multiple relationships. The open relationship fascinated Spencer from a psychological viewpoint. He and Matthew's girlfriend Allison loved Matthew and Hannah and didn't see the arrangement as wrong, but enjoyed it. Allison saw other people as well. Spencer felt too much like a nervous idiot to try.

Hannah and Matthew's parents on the other hand found the twin's relationship arrangements very strange and asked all four of them very personal questions. When asked about it themselves, Hannah and Matthew kept it simple and said that they loved many people. Spencer understood that. Allison understood that and lived it too. Even Spencer's team understood the dynamics of their relationship better than her parents did.

Aaron Hotchner could quote Hannah's relationship rules off the top of his head. Spencer suspected he knew why his bossmemorized them, and why he repeated them. The first rule Hannah followed stated no sexual relationships with married men, unless they participated in an open marriage or received permission from their wife to date Hannah. Her second rule mirrored the first; no dating men already dating another woman, unless given permission by the girlfriend. The third rule dictated communication to the primary relationship, Spencer, about whom Hannah saw and when, how and when the relationship ended and why. Spencer even had permission to run background checks on Hannah's other relationships, as well as Allison's and Matthew's. Her brother and his girlfriend followed the same rules. No one got hurt.

But Hannah and Matthew still held secrets.


	2. Extreme Aggressor

**Disclaimer: CBS owns all Criminal Minds characters. Hannah is my character.**

**Author's Note: Thanks for reading the prologue and reading on! This story is challenging and yes, this is the third time I have taken it down and re-posted it. Sorry bout that. Some chapters will be quite short, but others could be quite long. Please keep reading and please review!**

Chapter 1

**Extreme Aggressor**

Spencer woke up before dawn when his girlfriend Hannah stole the blankets off him. She peeked out from beneath them and smiled. Spencer's stomach did that butterfly thing. Her smile always did that to him.

Everyone who met Hannah fell in a kind of love with her smile. Her joyful personality and good looks helped too. Blue eyed, tan, five feet eight inches, and brunette, Hannah looked good in the simplest outfit. Sometimes Spencer didn't understand why or how she fell in love with him.

Hannah tossed the blankets off, then her top. Spencer followed with his own t-shirt. For the next several minutes they kissed, caressed and undressed each other.

Half an hour later, Spencer and Hannah disentangled and lay in each others arms while they caught their breath.

"I love you." They both said at once.

Neither of them ever called jinx when it happened on an 'I love you'.

Well after the sun came up and they should have gotten out of bed, Spencer stepped into the shower while Hannah floated down the stairs of their townhouse and raided the fridge. After ten minutes, Spencer walked into the kitchen dressed for work in a sweater vest Hannah bought him. He sniffed the air and grinned.

Hannah loved to cook. Reid loved that about her. He also loved the fact that she put up with his social ineptitude. In social rituals she always knew when he needed out of a situation or a room. Few people created better escapes from parties than Hannah.

They sat down and ate in silence. No one ever talked once they dug into one of Hannah's meals, not until it all vanished.

Spencer washed the dishes once they finished. As he rinsed, Hannah snaked her arms around his waist and kissed the back of his neck. Hannah alone knew about that spot. He turned and kissed her on the lips, then he kissed her forehead.

She loved that gesture.

They parted ways on the sidewalk in front of their stoop. Hannah glanced back first. Spencer reached the corner before he glanced back, just as Hannah turned and vanished around her corner.

* * *

Spencer walked into the townhouse and heard loud rock music in the dining room. He found Hannah at the table with school papers spread across the surface and her ipod hooked into the music port. She looked up and smiled at him as she wrote up a grocery list. The school papers lay untouched.

Hannah taught graduate level literature courses at Georgetown. She aced all her subjects in school, graduated high school at fifteen, loved literature more than any other subject, and earned two Ph.D's in literature.

"What's wrong?" Hannah's smile faded as she sensed his discomfort.

"We're going back into the field. Seattle. Now.**"**

Her face shifted into that intense look she wore while on a role, writing long into the night. Not disappointment, but determination and resolve. Hannah knew what Spencer's work with the FBI in the BAU entailed, and helped him get through the Academy and onto the team. He still didn't know all the details, but he suspected it involved her friendship with Aaron Hotchner that started not long before his graduation.

"Go catch the sonofabitch." Hannah said with a smile as she stood, draped her arms over his shoulders, and kissed him.

Two minutes later, his go bag in hand, Spencer turned around as he opened the front door, crossed the foyer to Hannah, and gave her a tender kiss on the lips.

"I love you, Hannah."

"I love you, Spencer."

They gazed at each other for a few more seconds before Spencer kissed her forehead, then departed.


	3. Compulsion

**Disclaimer: CBS owns Criminal Minds and its characters. Hannah is my character.**

**Author's Note: The first few chapters will resemble the previous versions, but with some parts missing. I'm trying to make this flow better and I have a clearer idea of where this is going. Please review!**

Chapter 2

**Compulsion**

Things became complicated after Spencer returned home from Seattle. Spencer hid his feelings from his team about their cases and the unsubs they chased, but Hannah always saw the aftermath. It didn't matter how well he hid those feelings, Hannah still read him like a book. Spencer acted different. He held her like a glass doll when they made love. It drove her crazy.

Hannah recognized these symptoms. Sexual assault cases troubled him. He thought not all men act like monsters and so he acted as though he could make up for those monsters. It happened before, after every sexual abuse case Spencer ever worked, but it frightened Hannah. She feared one day he might lose himself to his personal demons and his work demons, and she never wanted to lose the wonderful, nerdy, awkward Spencer Reid that Hannah fell in love with the night they met. Hannah felt blessed with Spencer, but he worried her.

She worried that someday something very drastic would happen and turn Spencer into someone else. Hannah feared that day and resolved she would never let him go over the deep end. More FBI agents suffered from burnout than those who escaped it, more so in the BAU.

After one too many drinks at Aaron's team and family barbeque, Hannah let loose all her anxieties and picked a fight.

"I hate what the field does to you! You bring it home with you. I know you try not to, but you do."

"How do I bring it home?"

"Ever since you got back from Seattle, you've treated me like a victim!"

"No I haven't."

"You've been acting like I'm made of glass." Hannah turned around and pointed at him. "After every rape case you work, you do it. And you keep doing it until another case takes the place of that nightmare. I love you, Spencer, and I know how critical your work is, but right now the BAU is driving me mad!"

Spencer stood frozen for a moment.

"Do you want me to transfer?"

"No! I don't want you to transfer. You do important work. I want you to stop shutting me out. I want you to talk to me, include me, not leave me to figure out what the hell happened out in the field by reading you and your actions."

"You want me to talk to you about my cases?"

"Yes, if that's what you need to do so you can talk to me about what's troubling you."

"No! Absolutely not. I won't have you psychoanalyzing me."

Hannah crossed her arms.

"Who the hell said anything about psychoanalysis, because I certainly didn't. Damn it Spencer, you can't shut me out forever!"

"Hannah, I'm trying to protect you!"

"Stop! I don't want that. I know what's out there in the world and I can handle it."

"No, you can't."

"Well thank you very much for making me fell like a fucking five year old!"

"Hannah, I didn't mean it like that."

"Yes you did!"

"I don't want to argue with you right now. You had too many drinks at the barbeque tonight and you're drunk."

"You always avoid a fight by saying I'm drunk. Stop it."

"Because you want to fight when you get too drunk!"

"That is not true!"

"We will continue discussing this in the morning."

"Fine!"

As he followed her up the stairs he noticed she walked past their bedroom, and headed straight for their guest bedroom. She slept there when they fought.

"You're going to sleep in the guest bedroom?"

"Yes!"

"Why?"

"I'm too angry to sleep next to you!" Hannah slammed the door behind her.

The next morning, Hannah slipped out before Spencer even woke up, a common occurrence after a fight. On her door he found a note:

_I'm not asking for the gory details, just that you talk to me. I'm here for you, but are you here for me? If you think this is protecting me, then you don't know me as well as you think you do. Just ask Aaron. I've been listening to his troubles about these cases since you joined the team. He didn't even have to ask. I told him I would listen, which is exactly what I told you when you went into the FBI, but you seem to have forgotten that. I'm not fragile Spencer. I can handle a lot more than anyone thinks I can. - I love you. Hannah_

He put the note in his bag, and left the house fifteen minutes later. On the way to work, Spencer ran various apologies and conversations through his head, but before he could apologize to Hannah, a new case and a firebug whisked the team to Arizona.

* * *

Aaron waited until the rest of the team nodded off on the plane before he sat down across from Spencer.

"What's going on with you and Hannah?"

"Did she tell you about our fight?"

"No. I last talked to her at the barbeque. I know something happened between you because I see it weighing on you."

"She wants me to talk to her about the cases instead of shutting her out. And she left me this."

Spencer pulled the note out of his satchel and handed it over. As he watched Aaron read it, he watched for micro-expressions.

"I love how to the point she is." Aaron said with a grin. "Talk to her. Open up to her. She can handle it."

"What if Hannah can't handle it?"

"She would have talked you out of joining the BAU instead of supporting you. Reid, Hannah's always there for you. Make the same effort. Talk to her about the cases. She wants to give you a healthy way to unload."

"That's healthy? Talking with her about what we see and what we deal with?"

"Reid, Hannah's much stronger than you give her credit for. Remember, I've met her parents too."

Spencer laughed. He loved Hannah's parents, but their odd way of preparing their children for the real world unnerved him. Hannah and her siblings called it 'Scare Tactics'. They watched films about drug abuse, eating disorders, runaway teens and teen pregnancy before high school, and toured treatment centers. Their psychologist parents worked with patients traumatized by various kinds of abuse and never wanted their kids to go down those dangerous paths, so they gave them reality checks wherever and whenever possible.

"Why didn't Hannah tell me before now that you talk to her about the cases?"

"I assumed you already knew. Hannah never said anything..." Aaron closed his eyes and shook his head. "She never said anything to either confirm or deny that belief. I'm sorry Reid. Hannah and I have steered clear of discussing anything private about you and Haley, so I thought that'swhy she never brought it up."

"What does she say when you talk to her about the cases?"

Aaron stayed quite for a whole minute while he thought about what he would say next.

"Hannah is insanely gifted in psychology. She's more than handled anything I've told her; she's helped me when the cases threatened to drive me over the edge. I would put her on the team, except for the fact that I fear she would execute the unsubs."

"I noticed that when I started at the Academy and talked to her about what we studied in class. That's part of the reason I stopped talking to her about this."

"I've been talking to her about everything, so you might as well. Trust me when I say this, it will help."

Head back on the rest, Spencer watched Aaron for a few seconds.

"Okay. I'll talk to her."


	4. Wont Get Fooled Again

**Disclaimer: CBS owns Criminal Minds. Hannah is my original character.**

**Author's Note: Thanks for reading! I'll try and get chapters up every other day or at least once a week. Please review and feel free to private message me if you want to chat. Oh, and I forgot in previous chapters to note where one scene ends and another begins, that should be fixed now.**

Chapter 3

**Won't Get Fooled Again**

Spencer followed through and opened up to Hannah. He told her about Seattle, Arizona, Boston, and even went all the way back to his first case on the team. He even spoke about a few he consulted on or observed while at the Academy. Once he started, he couldn't stop. The release of all those pent up thoughts, feelings, and emotions felt good. Hannah listened the way her parents taught her and helped him heal those old wounds he hid from her for so long. She handled the entire conversation rather well in Spencer's opinion.

* * *

"Hannah, I'm back from Florida!" Spencer stopped in the foyer and listened for any noise in the still house. "Hannah?"

The faint sound of running water sent him upstairs, with the idea of slipping into their shower with her, but when Spencer heard her crying he walked right in and pulled the curtain back. Hannah sat in the tub, arms wrapped around her legs, face buried in her knees. Spencer turned off the water and wrapped her up in a towel. She looked up at him when he cupped her chin.

"Hannah, what's wrong?"

"It's Lily."

Lily. Hannah's four year old niece from her twin brother Matthew and his long term girlfriend Allison. One of the few children Spencer didn't freak out, and the one niece or nephew who didn't take any time warming up to him. She called him Uncle Pence. Lily didn't understand his and Hannah's complicated relationship. At her age, Lily didn't care.

"What happened?"

"She has leukemia."

"When did you find out?"

"At school today. Matthew called from New York. Allison called him after she took Lily to the doctor in Miami. Ally noticed some bruises on Lily that she got playing on the beach that wouldn't go away. I need to go down this weekend. If she needs a bone marrow transplant, I need to get tested. And Lily needs me. There's a flight tomorrow morning I can catch. My department dean told me to call if I need some days off next week."

"You think you'll stay down there past the weekend?"

"I think I might." Hannah stopped in the middle of her sentence and swallowed before she continued. "I think I might have to postpone your birthday. I'm so sorry."

"It's just one birthday, Hannah. Go see Lily. She needs you right now more than I do."

"You can come with me to Miami. Just for the weekend. I'll make sure you're back by Monday. Lily would love to see you. Please come. It will make her feel so much better. And we can celebrate your birthday a few days early."

"The weather is nice in Florida."

Spencer smiled when he saw Hannah perk up.

She looked much happier than she did a few minutes ago. So happy in fact that she pulled Spencer into the shower with her.

* * *

Aaron sent a joint text to both Hannah and Spencer, wishing them luck that the doctors find a match soon for Lily. After Hannah read it, she sent a thank you back and assured him he would see Reid in the office on Monday.

The airport shops created a giddy feeling in Spencer, like a kid in a candy store as he searched for the perfect gift for Lily. Hannah followed him and commented on the possible gifts while Spencer kept track of every toy on every shelf in every store, their price, and their usefulness.

"Ally said Lily's obsessed with monkeys and gorillas right now." Hannah said twenty minutes in. "We should get her an orangutan or something. She'll love that."

"I don't remember seeing one. What kind of primate should we get her?"

"The Mandrill Baboon. The one with the colorful face."

"Wouldn't that scare her?"

"No. It's Rafiki from Lion King. He's her favorite character." Hannah stopped, turned a full three sixty, and saw in all the stores in sight. "We'll have to wait until we get to Miami. I don't think Reagan has the kind of shop we're looking for."

"I know!" With the goofiest smile she'd ever seen on him, Spencer said, "We could give her you!"

"Wow." Hannah stopped in her tracks and stared sideways at him. "Spencer Reid, did you just crack a bad joke?"

"It wasn't that bad!"

"It wasn't that great either. Or original. Remember, a good joke is well crafted."

"I'll work on that. We should take her to the zoo and get her a stuffed animal monkey there." Spencer corrected himself. "Baboon."

"Yes! Today. First thing." Hannah smiled and put her arm through Spencer's before she rested her head on his shoulder. "Thank you for coming with me Spencer."

"We don't see Lily enough."

Spencer knew how many days, but didn't remind Hannah of the number.

"No. No we don't." She grasped his hand in her own and lead them back through the crowd towards their departure gate.


	5. Plain Sight

**Disclaimer: CBS owns Criminal Minds. All original characters are mine.**

**Author's Note: Sorry I didn't post in a few days. I've had a crazy week and when I could breathe again I realized this chap was ready a couple days ago but I forgot about it. Here it is now. Enjoy!**

Chapter 4

**Plain Sight**

Lily gave her uncle Pence the best birthday present ever, a bucketful of seashells. After the zoo and the Rafiki stuffed animal, Lily insisted they visit this beautiful little beach her dad found the last time he visited. Of course, her directions would have put them in the sea between Florida and Cuba if they followed them so Hannah called Matthew for help while Spencer distracted Lily with ice cream.

The beach looked beautiful. So did Hannah in the new bikini that Spencer bought her. He walked through a couple of shops until he found it and some board shorts, along with a nerdy t-shirt that cracked up Hannah. The joke on it sailed far over Lily's head. He also wore plenty of waterproof sunscreen. Morgan wouldn't let him hear the end of it if he burned.

All in all, a good weekend, except when Lily brought up all the children in the cancer ward with bald heads. The thought of losing her shiny gold hair freaked the hell out of her. When they couldn't distract her with soft or shiny things, or the idea of her dad at home for a few months instead of a few days, Spencer and Hannah spent all their time reassuring Lily that her hair would grow back. When that didn't work, Hannah told her she could have all the wigs she wanted. Red, black, brown, blonde, even purple or green. Once Hannah said pink, Lily became excited. She wanted that pink wig now. They settled with dyeing her natural hair pink. After the girls reappeared from the bathroom, Spencer studied the result and admitted Lily pulled the color off quite well.

* * *

Sunday afternoon, Spencer and Hannah lounged on the backyard hammock while Ally and Lily napped. They all decided Spencer shouldn't leave until the morning, so they could spend more time together.

"Does the rest of the family know yet?" Spencer said after he brushed Hannah's hair off his chin.

"Matthew called them. They're all getting tested." Hannah traced the outline of a valentine over Spencer's heart before she spoke again. "I've decided I'm staying through next week."

"Okay."

"I'm going to give you a relatively odd birthday present."

"Relatively odd?"

"Yes. Promise me that you'll try one thing for me."

"What?"

"Ask someone out on a date. Someone meaning not me." Before Spencer could interrupt Hannah said, "Let me explain. You've never asked anyone out. Try it. Go on a date. Experience a date with someone besides me."

"How do I ask someone out?"

"Just use the words I used when we got kicked off that frat house roof. Do you want to go on a date?"

"What will I do on this date?"

"Dinner and a movie always works."

"Why do you want me to ask someone else out?"

"Because for reasons Matthew and I don't even understand ourselves, we like seeing more than one person, and you and Allison have always been fine with that, but you're the only one who doesn't see other people. Allison sees other people, but you don't. Spencer, don't you want to explore relationships with other women?"

"I'm not comfortable with other women."

"Will you please try it? Promise me you'll do it."

"Okay, I'll ask someone out on a date."

* * *

Monday morning Spencer stopped by his apartment, dropped off his bags, changed for work, and laid out the seashells in a shallow hot bath since he hadn't cleaned them back in Florida. He worried that the TSA wouldn't let him take them on the plane, so Hannah packed them in the bag that would go in the belly of the aircraft. Lily demanded he promise to name every single shell, and Hannah promised him a list of good names so he could concentrate on work.

As soon as he saw Reid, Hotch asked about Lily. He'd met her when she and Ally stopped for a night in DC last year while on their way to New York to visit Matthew. When Hotch learned of her cancer diagnosis the previous week, he offered Reid a few days off, but Reid declined. He knew Hannah needed a lot of alone time with Lily, and he didn't feel comfortable in the Florida heat.

"Lily's okay for now. She gave me seashells for me birthday and we dyed her hair pink."

"Pink?"

"Yes. She wants a pink wig when she loses all her hair from the chemo." Reid said, "Hannah and Iboth tested to see if we can donate bone marrow, and the rest of the family will do the same."

"Good. I hope everything goes as well for Lily."

"Thanks Hotch. How's Haley?"

"Hormonal. It's interesting, to say the least."

"The pregnant female body is fascinating. I remember when Allison was pregnant with Lily, she would-"

"Reid, I know." Hotch cut him off in his final voice. "I live with one."

Reid nodded and stopped talking about pregnant women.

* * *

Since Hannah made him promise to do it, and Spencer suspected she conspired with Gideon, he went through with it and asked JJ out. And after the speed at which JJ said yes, Spencer suspected she knew about the agreement too. Not that he minded.

When he asked JJ out it felt good, but a bit weird too. He felt comfortable with Hannah whereas he couldn't help but feel nervous around other women. He did have a crush on JJ, but never told Hannah. Spencer knew she suspected.

Spencer found football fascinating, from a mathematics and statistics view point, and he found JJ's presence a comfort in large crowds. While he found the game fun and JJ a pleasant companion, Spencer missed Hannah, and wanted her back home.


	6. Broken Mirror

**Disclaimer: CBS owns Criminal Minds. Hannah is my character.**

**Author's Note: Thanks for still reading! I hope you like the story. Please review. Also, I'm giving you a special treat this weekend...**

Chapter 5

**Broken Mirror**

When Hannah's plane arrived, Spencer met her at the gate with a surprise; pictures he'd just developed from his football date with JJ, proof he fulfilled his promise.

Hannah flipped through them as Spencer studied her micro-expressions. She liked what she saw, and when she finished, Hannah opened Spencer's satchel, slipped the photographs inside, then stood on her tiptoes to kiss him. He helped her out, leaned down a bit, and surprised her when he wrapped his arms around her. Her toes just touched the ground, but Spencer supported her.

The kiss she gave him went deeper than any kiss they'd shared in awhile, but when Spencer held her like she might break, that's when Hannah sensed it. She ended the kiss, lowered her feet back to the ground, and stepped back. Spencer looked at her, confused.

"Hannah, what's wrong?"

"What case did you just work in the field?"

The kind she hated. Spencer knew he'd slipped up with the way he held her, so he lied.

"Home invasions in San Diego."

"Don't call a rape a home invasion and expect me to buy it Spencer. Damn it, you know I hate it when you treat me like a glass doll after these cases!"

"What do you want me to do Hannah? What do you want me to say? I'm sorry?" Spencer grabbed her as she turned away and pulled her against his chest. "I love you Hannah, and you're the only woman I've ever loved. I see the dark side of something so special and I could never imagine hurting you."

"Just when I want to be angry with you, you say something like that and sound like a poet and a prince." Hannah said into his chest. "A stupid poet and an annoying prince, but my poet and my prince."

"What do you mean?" Spencer said as he tried not to laugh at her rant.

"It means I can't stay mad at you." Hannah lifted her head off his chest and looked Spencer in the eyes. "But don't mistake mad with upset, because I'm still upset."

"I can change that. Wait until you hear the other surprise I have for you."

"What surprise?"

"Will you go out with me?"

Though she tried not to, Hannah couldn't help but grin.

"Spencer Reid, are you asking me out on a date?"

"Yes."

"When can we have this date?"

"Is tonight too soon?"

"Tonight is perfect, but if Aaron calls you in, I'll kick his ass."

"He won't. I told him about tonight and he said if a case comes up it can wait until the morning."

* * *

The whole night turned Hannah on. Spencer picked up on that and got her home as soon as possible. The moment the front door of their townhouse closed behind them, Hannah pushed him against the wall and kissed him as she tore his clothes off. Spencer did the same to her as they made their way up the stairs. A minute later they closed the bedroom door, their clothes left in a path from the front door.

* * *

When Spencer came home in the middle of the night from Iowa, he walked straight into the coffee table and woke up Hannah. The light in the bedroom blinked on and Spencer heard the distinct sound of a hammer cocking back on a gun.

"Spencer? Please tell me that's you."

"Yeah, it's me, you can put the gun away."

"Why didn't you turn on the light when you opened the door?" Hannah turned on the hallway light for him and another one in the living room as she joined him.

Spencer stood where he stopped and stared at the table.

"That table was not there when I left for work."

"Sorry, I forgot to tell you I did some rearranging. How did the case wrap up?"

"The unsub has erotomania, and he wanted both identical sisters, but we caught him and found the girl."

"Erotomania?" Hannah shivered and accepted Spencer's embrace as she whispered into his chest. "God that's scary."

With psychologist parents who shared horror stories from patients and scared their children on tours of rehab centers and institutions so they could keep them on the straight and narrow, Hannah and her siblings didn't have average fears. Sure they possessed some normal phobias among them, heights, spiders, bees, rats and the like, but also the fear of certain disorders that tore so many people apart. For Hannah, abusive, possessive men, and the obsession created out of love became one of her greatest fears. Erotomania scared the hell out of her.

"Don't worry." Spencer knew a light tease would snap her out of her dark thoughts and said, "I'm not obsessed with you."

"That's good to know, because if you were I'd have to tell you I have a gun and I know how to use it." Hannah teased back.

She spoke of the beautiful revolver her grandfather gave her on her eighteenth birthday, the same gun she cocked upstairs when she heard Spencer crash through the dining room.

"You still sleep with the gun under the pillow when I'm gone?"

"And in the bed stand when you're home. Are you coming to bed? The gun isn't beneath your pillow right now. It's on it, but I'll move it."

"I'll be up in a few minutes." Spencer looked around the living room and dining room area. "Why did you rearrange?"

"I had some students over."

"For what?"

At two o'clock in the morning and startled out of a good dream, the question sounded stupid and annoyed her, so Hannah rolled her eyes, a gesture Spencer caught, and gave the most sarcastic response she could think of.

"Dinner, Spencer. Didn't you know you're dating a cannibal? Check the fridge for leftovers. Help yourself, but hands off my breasts." Hannah clapped a hand over her mouth as her eyes widened. "That was awful. Where did that joke even come from? What is wrong with me?"

She fled up the stairs as Spencer laughed.

"You get really sarcastic and tell inappropriate jokes when you're tired."

"Thank you Captain Obvious!" Hannah said from the staircase. "Turn off the lights as you come to bed."

"What did you and your students do?"

"We watched The Chronicles of Narnia from the BBC. Good night!"

Spencer loved her warped, middle of the night sense of humor, and the fact that it embarrassed her when she said things like that. He yelled up the stairs.

"I love you Hannah!"

The sound of her footsteps stopped, and a few seconds later she whispered back, the smile present in her voice.

"I love you too Spencer."

The giggle that followed sent Spencer straight up the stairs and into the bedroom. Hannah giggled again when he caught her around the waist.


	7. LDSK

**Disclaimer: CBS owns all Criminal Minds characters, but Hannah is my character.**

**Author's Note: ...a second chapter for the weekend! Now that I have established Hannah and Spencer's relationship, it's time to get into Hannah's relationship with Aaron. Enjoy;**

Chapter 6

**L.D.S.K.**

The quiet under the gun range headphones felt like fresh air and warm sunshine after the crazy day Hannah worked through at Georgetown. Her students didn't help. They sat through their classes with the collective attention span of a house cat on catnip.

She hadn't smoked a joint since the day after she earned her second doctorate degree. Matthew surprised her with it, but their parents caught them and told her professors couldn't smoke marijuana. They told Matthew he couldn't share his medicinal pot with his sister anymore, then disappeared back inside the house. They let him smoke pot because it kept his anxiety levels down, and it also helped him write his songs. A family friend wrote him a prescription when they turnedfourteen. Sometimes Hannah despised him for it, and until the night her parents forced her to quit, she raided his stash.

Her day worsened when the oncologist from Florida called, over a week after she expected him to. After the doctor rambled on for a minute in a medical dialect she couldn't understand, Hannah yelled at him to spit it out. The news she didn't match Lily floored her.

Since she couldn't smoke, Hannah sent Spencer a text the minute her last class ended, then she headed straight for the gun range. He text back that he felt sorry for the news from the doctor and wanted to talk to her whenever she came home.

When Hannah arrived at the range, she realized she didn't have her revolver. The range owner liked to shoot with her sometimes and loaned her one of his guns. She laughed when he gave her the Glock 17, and sent a textto Aaron. For years he'd teased her about the better quality of his gun.

The one slot open made Hannah pause. She remembered what happened in that exact same range, and the exact same lane two years ago. She'd stalked Aaron here and asked that he pull some strings for Spencer, help him pass the Academy's physical tests he struggled with, and get him into the BAU. Aaron liked her spunk and nerve and proposed a shooting contest for his answer. She emptied her entire revolver through one hole in the middle of the paper target's head. Aaron whistled, asked if a Secret Service agent trained her, then swore he would look into Dr. Reid's difficulties with the Academy's psychical requirements.

When she felt his presence behind her not even twenty minutes later, Hannah didn't look around. Instead, she stepped aside, pushed in a new slide, and handed him the Glock. Aaron accepted the gun and put every bullet through the target heart. As the paper rolled forward, they checked out the each others handiwork. Hannah returned the gun and Aaron followed her out.

"What's with the stomach shots Hannah?" Aaron said once they stepped outside. "That's a painful wound and an agonizing death."

Hannah stared at the wounds she inflicted upon the paper while she spoke.

"My administrator decided to be an idiot today, the other professors all decided to be lunatics about it, and I suspect most of my students were stoned, which just made me miss smoking pot with Matthew."

Aaron listened as he rolled up the paper and tucked it under his arm.

"So, bad day?"

"Lily's oncologist finally called. I'm not a match. So, yeah, it's been a bad day. You have no idea how much I want a special brownie."

"Early birthday? I'll buy you a brownie, just not one of those brownies." Aaron wrapped an arm around her and pulled her into a hug. "Come on, I'll bring you back here to your car when we're done."

Hannah smiled and followed Aaron to his car.

"Deal." She said as he opened the passenger door for her.

Another memory from that same day two years ago stopped Hannah in her tracks. After she shocked Aaron with her firearms display inside, they moved outside to talk. After a few select questions that let Hannah know that she dealt with a skilled interrogator, Aaron asked if she would like to grab a quick bite with him so that they could talk some more. Like a gentleman, he opened the passenger door of his car for her.

As she climbed into the car, they almost kissed.

It happened by accident, they stood too close, but neither backed off. An inch separated them. Hannah smelled his breath and thought of cinnamon gum. She closed her eyes and breathed out, aware of her own breath. Chocolate. Minty. When she opened them again, Aaron hadn't moved. He stood by the car door and studied her. Watched her. She watched him back. His eyes never left her own. She could have sworn that a moment ago his eyes were not that dilated, and wondered if her own eyes reacted to him the same as his reacted to her. Hannah looked away first, and they fell upon the hand that held her door open. His wedding band stuck out against the blue paint. She looked back into his eyes. They too glanced for a moment at his ring, before they moved back up and stared into her own. When she couldn't stand the tension in her chest any more, Hannah pecked him on the cheek and whispered against his skin.

"I'm not the other woman Aaron. I can't be that."

She stepped back, removed a business card from one of her favorite bookstores that she found in her wallet and wrote her cell number on the back. He accepted it as she thanked him on behalf of Spencer, then she climbed in her own car and left. Five days later he called her. They met for a coffee and breakfast the next morning. Aaron asked her dozens of questions, about herself, her famous parents, and Dr. Reid. That lead him to ask her a few more questions about her relationship with Spencer Reid. When he finished his interrogation, Aaron apologized for being so forceful, but Hannah laughed it off, called the experience amusing and a bit reminiscent of her parents, then insisted that she pay for their meal.

They became good friends after that and Spencer soon joined the team, but they never once brought up the near kiss or her words. A mistake perhaps.

Now Hannah found herself in the same situation when Aaron opened the passenger side door and then stepped inside her personal space. He had not done that the last time, but he moved as though he didn't realize the situation or where he was within it, not until Hannah reacted. She didn't flinch, or move backward, but instead stepped closer. They hadn't experienced a moment like this for two years and it felt good. Aaron reached for her and Hannah accepted his hand before a car pulled into the lot and forced them apart. They ignored the moment of weakness and acted the part of gentleman and lady as he helped her into the passenger seat. When Aaron closed the door, Hannah expelled her held breath through her nose and balled her fists as she stared at the new car. By the time Aaron walked around the front and got in, Hannah studied his work on the unrolled paper.

"Spencer's gun re-qualification is the day after tomorrow."

Aaron heard her tone and noticed her sentence structure as well. Spencer before all else.

"He already asked me to help him at the FBI range tomorrow. Have you worked with him?"

"Not since the first time he saw me shoot. Apparently I scare him."

"Not just him. The first time I saw you shoot, I thought I would have a heart attack right there."

* * *

Two days later Spencer returned from the office in a less than great mood. Without a word, he put his gun away in the bed stand. Before Hannah could ask, Spencer shook his head. They discussed any topic but guns that night but that didn't satisfy Hannah. She wouldn't let him mope over it.

"You can test again in two weeks and until that time, you're going to let me work with you so you can pass it." Hannah said the next morning as he left for work. "This is not a negotiation. You need to get your gun back."

Spencer paused with his hand on the doorknob, and thought it over before he looked at her.

"Only if you don't shoot the paper target in the stomach. That freaks me out."

"Deal."

* * *

When Spencer returned from Des Plaines, he walked into the living room and found Hannah at the dining room table, cleaning her revolver. She put it down and came around the table.

"Spencer! Why didn't you call to say you were back?"

"I wanted to surprise you. Did you go shooting while I was out of town?"

"Yes, but I wanted to clean it before we practiced shooting together."

"We don't have to. Hotch cleared me."

"He cleared you to carry?"

"I shot the unsub with Hotch's gun."

Spencer put his hands in his pockets as his eyes wandered around the objects near at hand. Hannah sensed that his actions ashamed him somewhat.

"You get your gun back!"

She surprised him with a hug but Spencer surprised her more when he flinched.

"Ow!"

"Spencer?" Hannah backed off and watched him cradle his ribcage. "What's wrong?"

"My ribs hurt." Spencer said in a low voice filled with pain.

Hannah pulled up his shirt and gasped.

"Oh my god, Spencer!" Hannah studied the bruises forming across his chest and said, "The unsub did this?"

"No."

"Who?"

The glint in her eyes when she looked up frightened Spencer. He thought about lying, but he knew Hotch would confess his actions over drinks with Hannah anyway. A confession that dangerous would get Hotch punched.

"Hotch needed to get his ankle gun to me."

"What do you mean? Did Aaron do this to you?"

She turned back for her gun, but Spencer grabbed her arm and pulled her around.

"Don't be mad at him Hannah."

"He kicked you in the ribs Spencer!"

Hannah pointed at his bruises for emphasis.

"Hotch kicks like a nine year old girl."

Spencer grinned at his joke but Hannah just set her jaw and he dropped the smile.

"That's not funny."

"It's true." Spencer said, "Please don't be mad at him. I'm not."

"Go look at your ribs in the mirror."

"I can see my ribs just fine. It's not that bad." Spencer glanced down at them and when he looked back up Hannah vanished and as he looked around he spotted Hannah halfway up the stairs. "Where are you going?"

"To see what we have in the medicine cabinet." She glanced down at Spencer. "I want to kill Aaron right now."

"Don't. He has a baby due any day now."

Hannah grunted, which always made Spencer nervous. He eyed the dismembered gun on the table and after Hannah disappeared into the bathroom, he inched toward it.

"We got Bayer and Tylenol. Which do you want?"

"The Tylenol will work." Spencer said as he picked up the firing pin and hid it under his watch.

"Okay, Tylenol it is." Spencer heard her coming and moved away from the table, but Hannah's next words stopped him. "And Spencer? Put my firing pin back on the table."

He looked up and saw Hannah lean against the railing, her eyes on his watch.

"Not until you promise not to kill Hotch. I want to explain everything that happened. You'll understand that we didn't have another option."

She mulled it over for a few seconds, but Hannah nodded.

"Fine. I promise not to kill Aaron, but I can't promise not to punch him in the arm for payback."

"Fair enough."


	8. The Fox

**Disclaimer: CBS owns Criminal Minds, but Hannah is my character.**

**Author's Note: A third chapter today because I appreciate you so much! Enjoy and please review!**

Chapter 7

**The Fox**

Hannah kicked Spencer in the ribs when he jolted her awake. He deserved it. She hated it when he huddled under the blankets and tickled her feet.

"Ow!" Spencer scrambled away from her feet as he clutched his ribs. "Hey, my ribs are still sore from Iowa."

"Not my fault. Don't tickle me you little cretin."

"It's cretin. If you're going to insult me, at least say it properly."

"Plagiarist."

"Borrower. Everyone borrows from Monsters Inc."

"Speaking of animated kids movies, Don's misfits want you to take them to the Ice Age sequel."

"I will, case pending."

"They're not going to accept that answer."

"Then I'll take them as soon as I get off the plane and hand in my paperwork."

"Better answer. Now, what are you gonna do with your vacation days?"

"Go see my mom."

"Would you like me to join you or do you want to be solo this trip?"

"I'd like to be solo. You could kidnap Jenna, just have a designated driver."

"That could be fun." Hannah threw off her covers and grabbed her discarded nightgown off the floor. "Do you want me to pass good wishes along to Haley when I visit her after the birth? Little Jack is due this weekend and you'll be in Vegas."

"I never know what to say. Newborns aren't cute."

"I just remembered when you told Allison that Lily looked like a Mandrake. The first movie hadn't even come out yet."

"Rowling described them very well in the book. I thought Ally was going to hit me."

"She would have if she hadn't been so drugged up."

"I learned my lesson."

"Only because I remind you not to say the baby looks ugly."

"Newborns are ugly!"

"Everyone knows that but mothers think their kids are special! Never mind, I won't tell Haley anything from you. Just be careful what you do say to her when you meet the baby."

"Okay." Spencer kissed the back of her neck and slid his arms around her waist, just Hannah slipped her panties back on.

"I have to go to school."

"I have to go to work too but we still have plenty of time. I woke you early."

"So you did. Horny bastard."

"Come back under the covers."

* * *

Aaron pounded the floor of the maternity ward to ease his anxiety. That didn't help, but when Hannah called his voice from down the hallway, that did.

"Aaron!"

As he turned around, Aaron grinned at the sight of her.

"Hannah."

She smiled back, right before she landed a right hook on his bicep and yelled at him.

"Ass!"

"Ow!" Aaron rubbed his arm and took a step back. "What was that for?"

"Two things. One, you kicked Spencer!"

"Hold on a minute. He hasn't told you the full story."

"Spencer did tell me the full story and it doesn't get you off the hook with me."

"Okay, and the second reason?"

"Why did Jessica call me down to the hospital when you should have asked me to come?"

"I didn't know they called you. We agreed to have family only at the hospital or else I would have called you myself."

The reason seemed legit, so Hannah nodded and left it alone.

"Fine, but I'm still mad about what happened to Spencer." She took off down the hall and glanced in the rooms as she passed them. "Which way to Haley's room?"

"Hannah, wait." Aaron grabbed her hand and lead her down a hall away from Haley's room, until he found a stairwell and stopped. "We need to talk about what happened outside the gun range."

Hannah glanced up and down the hall before she looked at Aaron.

"You want to talk about that now?" Aaron's eyes looked different than they didoutside the range, less lustful and more upset, and Hannah felt her Irish rising. "Fine, why not? Let's talk about it now. I made it clear to you two years ago that I do not date or sleep with married men. And what the hell even happened the other day?"

"I don't know." Aaron looked down and away. "I'm sorry."

Hannah's shove sent him back against the door and Aaron looked up, surprised by what she'd just done.

"Sorry? Don't tell me you're sorry Aaron. I'm not your wife. Just your wife's friend and your friend. And I don't buy that you're sorry. That's bullshit. Two years ago you pulled that move on me and that was an accident, you didn't intend for it to happen and neither did I and then there was nothing like that, nothing romantic since then, so why pull it again now with your baby boy just a few weeks away from his due date?"

"Don't tell me you don't know." Aaron stepped so close that inches separated them. "You're smarter than that. You're one of the most brilliant women I know Hannah."

Hannah placed her palm over his heart, and felt his heart beat faster than hers.

"Don't try and flatter me Aaron, and don't treat me like a booty call."

Aaron's heartbeat quickened. His eyes flew up from her hand and as he looked back into her eyes, she saw his pupil's widen. They'd done that before, outside the range. Both times. And many times between. She'd hoped no one picked up on it. Her own pupil reaction when she looked at Aaron made her conscientious.

"I have never said you are!" Aaron grabbed her hand and held her fingers within his own, then pulled her closer until an inch of air kept them apart. "I haven't even thought it. Of course you're not a booty call Hannah. You're more important to me than that."

"Oh bullshit, Aaron. Bullshit!" Hannah tried to break free of his grasp but his strength kept her there, an inch away from those lips and the words she didn't want to hear. "You pulled a move on me when you haven't had sex in months. Go ahead and try to deny it."

Aaron closed his eyes in answer. He couldn't look at her and say it.

"That was just a moment of weakness."

"Yeah right Aaron! Just a moment? What about two years ago? Was that just another moment?"

"That's complicated and you know it."

"Yeah I do know it, so let me clear it up for you." Hannah pushed herself off of him and put a couple of inches between them. "Spencer and I have an open relationship. You and Haley do not. While you are married, nothing is going to happen between us. So stop driving me crazy with that car door trick of yours!"

"Hannah, it's not that simple. You know how I feel about you."

"Yes, I do, and you and your wife got pregnant after you made it clear to me how you feel about me. Damn it, Aaron! And I thought Spencer was a mess when it comes to romantic relationships."

"Hannah."

Aaron reached for her face but she knocked it away.

"No, just stop it okay?"

"Hannah!"

As his voice rose in anger, Hannah turned but Aaron caught her hand. She tried to pull away but hauled her back as he reached behind him and pulled open the stairwell door. Hannah saw the open stairwell and fought him, but Aaron grabbed her other arm.

"Let go of me!"

He pulled her through, and shoved her up against the wall as the door closed behind them. His weight pinned her against the wall as she struggled to push him off.

"Listen to me." Aaron grabbed her wrists and pinned them against the wall above her head. "Hannah, stop fighting me and just listen to me!"

Hannah stopped and looked into his eyes.

"What?" Hannah said.

The expression hell hath no fury popped into Aaron's mind, so he softened his voice. He did not back up to give her the space to kick him.

"I can't explain why I have these feelings. I just do. And yes, I'm married. Yes, my son is due today. And yes, this is complicated and I can't stand it, but I can't just forget how I feel about you, so don't ask me to."

"I never asked you to forget, Aaron! I just want you to stop pulling moves on me when we can't do anything more. Like you're doing right now. Aaron, look at me. Not my lips. Look at my eyes."

"What?" Aaron said a few seconds later when he looked up at her eyes.

"Release me, and let's go see your wife. She's in labor and wants to see us."

The reminder of his pregnant wife worked. The grip on her hand and wrist disappeared and Aaron backed away. He opened the door and motioned that Hannah should go first. As she did, he stroked her arm, but pulled his hand away when she glared at him over her shoulder. Aaron lead her down the hall as Hannah tried to keep her eyes off the back of his jeans. As they reached Haley's room, Aaron glanced back and caught her. She looked up and blushed.

When they arrived, she slipped past him into the room. She smiled, her blush gone. Haley grinned when she saw Hannah and held out her hand. A moment later Hannah stood at her bedside, both of Haley's hands within her own.

"I'm so glad you came Hannah. I know you have classes."

"Don't worry about it. I put a note on my office door. No one questions labor."

"Good, now can you make me a promise?"

"Sure."

"Promise me we'll go on another beach trip."

"Absolutely." Behind her Aaron hid a laugh in a cough, but Hannah ignored him as she leaned over Haley's belly and poked her bellybutton. "Hey, you! Come out of your mama already. We need to go to the beach and have all kinds of fun we can't tell anyone about."

Hannah, Haley, and Jessica burst into a giggle fit. Behind them Aaron shook his head and gazed up at the ceiling.

"Oh!" Haley stopped laughing. "He's moving now! Get the doctor Aaron, I think the contractions are getting closer!"

Aaron stepped into the hall and called the doctor back in, but he still caught Hannah's next words.

"I'll leave you with your family Haley. I have another class in less than an hour."

"Thank you again for coming Hannah. I needed to see a friend. And I thought the laughter might help."

Haley giggled again, but a contraction stole her breath and she grimaced until it passed.

"Laughter." Hannah grinned. "Always the best medicine. I'll come back tonight or tomorrow to see you and the little guy. I'll call Jessica to find out when the best time is."

"Okay." Haley said before she gave Hannah's hand one last squeeze.

Before she left, Hannah gave Jessica a quick hug and a smile.

"Welcome to the club Aunt."

"Thank you Hannah." Jessica returned the smile and added in a wink.

At the doorway, Hannah stopped beside Aaron, leaned close, and whispered in his ear.

"I can't help how I feel about you either Aaron, but I respect and love Haley too much to betray her like that." She looked him in the eye as she said, "Forget about me. For both our sakes. Please."

Aaron gazed at her for a moment before he nodded.

* * *

After the team wrapped the Arnold case and left for the night, Aaron stayed a few more hours. When he exhausted his paperwork, he packed up, looked around the darkened office, and left. On his way home he detoured. This night of the week, Hannah put in extra hours in her school office. After he paused at her door and listened for the sounds of her music player and the shift of her papers, Aaron knocked. A few seconds later she answered it, and when she did, Aaron knew she'd expected him for some time. She stepped aside for him and pointed at a chair that she'd moved into place for him. He glanced at the loveseat sofa and saw it covered in clippings, magazines, and books.

"Aaron. Come in." Hannah didn't sound disappointed that he'd showed up at her door, but happy, which he found strange after their fight at the hospital several days ago, the last time they had spoken. "You want to talk about the Arnold case?"

Halfway into the office, Aaron stopped and looked at her.

"How did you know?"

"I went home for an hour and found Spencer reading Dostoevsky." Hannah closed the door. "No one can talk to him while he's reading Dostoevsky, so I just left him alone, but he filled me in on the case before he completely lost himself in the novel."

Aaron recalled Hannah's explanation of Reid's reading moods when he joined the team. The Russian greats he read when he found himself upset and didn't want any conversation, and when a case angered him, he read Dostoevsky. That happened after cases that involved dead children. Reid couldn't understand why people killed children. Hotch thought the fact that Reid grew up an only child played into it, as well as the fact that he never connected with a child until Lily's birth, and since then connected with few save his other nieces and nephews.

"How much did Reid tell you about the case?"

The desk became Hannah's seat as she leaned back against it and took a deep breath.

"Arnold is a family annihilator, and what he said at the end of his confession about fathers." Hannah turned off the classical music as Aaron sat in the offered seat. "That's why you're here, because of what Arnold said about fathers?"

She said it as a matter of fact and Aaron blinked. Hannah had that effect on him.

"How can you always read me like that?"

"You know why."

A slight blush appeared in Hannah's cheeks, but vanished when she swallowed and looked away.

"He took the father's wedding ring as a trophy."

"I know." Hannah met his eyes. "You hate him for that."

"He took everything from them." Aaron looked away, and after a second his eyes settled on Hannah's hands in her lap. "Yes, I hate him for that. I'm a father, of course I hate him."

As he spoke, Aaron rubbed his wedding ring with his thumb until Hannah put her hand over his and stopped him.

"Aaron, do you want to say something to Karl Arnold, or to me?"

"What you said at the hospital." Aaron looked into her eyes. "Before you left. You were right."

"And you agreed with me when I said it."

"I need to be a strong father."

"Arnold's words."

"He stole them. I need to be a good father and a good husband. We can't do this."

"I already said this at the hospital. Are my words only now getting through to you? Aaron, you don't need to analyze Karl Arnold to know that we should not have an affair."

"I don't want an affair."

"Good." Hannah smiled and nodded, relieved he said it. "Neither do I."

"But I want you."

Her smile vanished and for a moment Hannah just stared at him.

"You drive me crazy." Hannah ran her hands through the long strands of her brown hair, before she grasped her hands together in front of her. "Aaron, you can't have both of us. You can't have Haley and me at the same time. I won't do that, and I won't let you do that."

"I know and I've made my decision." Aaron grabbed her hands and put them down on her lap. "Haley."

"Good. Yes."

"I just wish I didn't feel the way I do about you."

"We can't control who we love. You know that better than most."

So as not to startle her, Aaron stood up slow and calm, but he didn't give her any sign of what he wanted to do next. He leaned forward and kissed her for the first time. After a moment Hannah returned the kiss. It continued for six, seven, eight seconds before they lost count and forgot about time and promises. Aaron tickled the back of her neck with his fingertips and caught strands of her hair in his hands. Hannah's hands started at his waist and ran up his chest until she cupped his face. They stayed that way as long as they could, until Aaron pulled away.

He stood up and made his way to the door. Hannah didn't move, except for her lips when she whispered his name. Aaron paused with his hand on the knob and glanced back at a shell-shocked Hannah.

She caught his hand and Aaron froze, then he pulled her into his arms. He pushed her hair back and whispered in her ear.

"Hannah, you keep me sane."


	9. Natural Born Killer

**Disclaimer: CBS owns Criminal Minds. The original character Hannah is mine.**

**Author's Note: It's just after midnight where I live, so this is a Sunday chapter, but this is also the fourth chapter within twenty-four hours! (Of course, these are just clean-ups of a previous version; once I get into the teens, then it will be a week or more between chapters.) Thanks for the reviews! I'm glad you like the story:)**

Chapter 8

**Natural Born Killer**

Hours after the Perotta interrogation, Aaron stood outside Hannah's classroom and checked his watch again. Ten minutes until this class finished and over an hour until her next class began. He tried to wait, but after he glanced at his watch three times inside a minute, Aaron gave up and knocked. When Hannah peered out the small window on the door, her eyes widened and she joined him in the hallway. When the door clicked shut behind her, she glanced down the hall, and, when she saw no one else, loosened his tie and unbuttoned his collar. The sight of his red and blue neck stole Hannah's color.

"How in the hell can you keep your tie on after what happened, Aaron?"

"I don't want anyone to see. How did you know?"

"Spencer called and told me what happened between you and Vincent Perotta in that junkyard. He sounded worried and thought you might head over here at some point to talk to me. Aaron, have you gone home to Haley yet?"

"I can't. Not yet. I thought after a couple hours paperwork I could, but I can't."

"You're angry. Or upset. Sometimes I can't tell the difference with you."

"I'm both."

"Because of Perotta?"

"Yes." Aaron breathed deep and said, "I can't take my anger home to my family."

Hannah removed a beaded carabiner off her belt, detached a key attached by a braid of golden ribbons, and pressed it into Aaron's hand.

"Key to my office. Wait for me in there. My class has less than ten minutes left. I'll come straight there."

Hannah kissed him on the cheek and slipped back into her classroom before he could speak. He stepped back, turned and walked down the hallway to her office. The next time he looked up, Aaron saw the nameplate for Dr. Hannah Darrow on her office door. His feet carried him there on automatic.

He knew her office well. Last year he'd helped her move in a love seat sofa and rearrange after Spencer opted to go to a convention with Garcia instead. Neither of them blamed him. Spencer hated furniture shopping and rearranging. He left decorating the townhouse to Hannah and didn't care where she put things, so long as the arrangements made sense, and she didn't leave any more tables in the middle of the hallway.

Hannah relished the opportunity to spend some private time with Aaron, and Aaron relished the chance to spend quality time with Hannah. Nothing happened then, well before their second encounter outside the gun range and the second spark that dogged their steps ever since. Everything became complicated between them since then. Aaron let himself into her office and shut the door behind him, but he didn't lock it. The moment he saw the love seat he sank onto it, closed his eyes, and fell asleep.

"Aaron." Hannah said as she shook him awake. "I've let you sleep for at least fifteen minutes, but you have to wake up now."

"I'm awake." Aaron opened his eyes and blinked several times. "I'm up."

"I'm surprised you slept at all given what happened last night."

"I haven't slept in two nights. My adrenaline levels crashed." Aaron scrunched his eyebrows and shook his head. "Or however you say that scientifically."

"You really are exhausted if you're talking like that." Hannah tried not to laugh and just smiled instead. "Do you need me to drive you home?"

"No, I can make it."

"Okay." Hannah reached into a teapot, pulled out a wet handkerchief, and rung it out as Aaron watched her. "I heated some water. Let me look at your neck. Take off your tie."

He grinned at that and pulled it off.

"Do you need my shirt off as well?" Aaron said and winced when Hannah smacked his elbow.

"Do not tempt me Aaron."

"I'm not trying to tempt you. I don't want to get my shirt wet." Aaron found his top button as he said, "The real question is, can you contain yourself?"

Hannah stared as long as she could bare it before she replied.

"Can you?"

"I can if you can."

"Take the shirt off."

"Lock your door."

Hannah started and looked up from the handkerchief.

"Excuse me?"

"You don't want a student to walk in on this. The rumors will spread faster that STD's in a co-ed dorm."

"Fine." Hannah left the sofa and locked the door. "But no more sex talk out of your mouth."

"It's an accurate comparison."

Hannah sat back down beside him and helped him unbutton, but stopped after just one button and played with the handkerchief instead.

"Aaron, we can't talk sex. It's too much. You know that."

"Sorry." Aaron said as he unbuttoned his shirt, pulled it halfway down his arms, and exposed his upper chest and bruised neck.

"Apology accepted." Hannah's eyes lingered a few moments on his bare chest, but she gasped when she saw his entire neck. "Oh, god, Aaron. This looks terrible."

"It looks worse than it feels."

"Really? Are you serious right now?" Hannah said as she raised her eyebrows in disbelief. "Because you are the only person I know who's ever been garroted."

"Okay, I feel like an abused rag doll." Aaron closed his eyes and breathed deep. "I feel like hell."

"Your voice sounds fine." Hannah said while she pressed the hot handkerchief against his battered skin with a soft touch. "A little soft, but you sound okay."

"Thanks." Aaron sighed and settled deeper into the sofa cushions. "The hot water helps."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Hannah arranged the handkerchief over his neck and left it there. "Perotta's interrogation. Why did he make you so angry?"

"He didn't. His circumstances did."

"What does that mean? What circumstances?"

"An abusive father."

"That got you thinking about your own father."

"He wasn't anywhere near as bad as Perotta's father, but he was a hard man." Aaron opened his eyes and and looked into Hannah's eyes. "I would never raise a hand to my son."

When she looked down, Hannah saw Aaron's left hand an inch away from her knee. She grasped his wrist in her hand and counted out the beats of his heart for fifteen seconds before she looked back up.

"You'd rather cut it off than raise it to him."

"Yes." Aaron glanced at his wrist and smiled. "How do you know me so well Hannah?"

A quick smile appeared on Hannah's lips, but vanished as her face became unreadable. She lifted Aaron's arm level with her face, and studied his pulse. But while she spoke her eyes looked past his arm and into his eyes.

"Oh, I just figured out the alcohol combination that unlocks your soul, so now you have no more secrets from me."

"You're scary." Aaron said as his eyes widened and the corners of his mouth twitched.

"You know I'm kidding!" Hannah dropped his arm on his lap and giggled. "Well, a little."

"I am officially terrified of you now." Aaron grinned as he said it.

"Oh shut up." Hannah cracked up and giggled harder, but when Aaron grabbed her leg and pulled her on top of him, she stopped. "Aaron! What the hell?"

The answer arrived when Aaron grabbed her right hand and placed it over his heart, placed his left hand over her right and his right hand over her own heart. His heart raced faster than one minute before, and so did hers.

"Hannah."

"Stop it Aaron."

"Hannah?"

She pushed him and almost lost her balance on his lap, but Aaron held her hand tighter. That just angered her even more.

"Have you completely forgotten what you said to me just feet from here only a few weeks ago? I'll remind you. You chose your wife and your marriage and your son over a mistaken affair with me. You made the right decision that night. I'm not going to let you go back on that and you know damn well I'm not going to sleep with a married man, so knock it off!" Hannah said before she reached into her jean pocket. "Hold on. My phone just buzzed in my back pocket."

"Don't answer it. Please." Aaron reached for the cell phone, but stopped when he felt fingernails settle over the skin on his chest.

"Aaron, stop it. I don't want to leave marks your wife will question, so shut up." Hannah looked at the phone and discovered a new text message from Spencer that sped up her heart rate even more. "Oh my God."

"What's wrong?"

"Quiet." Hannah put a finger over her lips as she turned the phone toward him. "Look."

Aaron's eyes widened as he read the message: _I just parked outside your building. I'm on my way in and I can't wait to see you._

"He's here?" Aaron said in a whisper that traveled no further than Hannah's ears.

"In the building. In the hallway by now probably." Hannah said in the same soft whisper. "Put your shirt on and keep that wrapped around your neck."

As Hannah removed the handkerchief, Aaron looked at her, confused.

"Why?"

"Just do it. And button up." Hannah helped get the first button done before she climbed off his lap. "I have to let him in when he knocks. Hurry."

Aaron closed the rest of his buttons as he watched Hannah pace in front of the door and cast him dirty looks. When she changed directions and started towards the wall farthest the door, he stood and grabbed her by the elbow.

"Hey." Aaron mouthed.

"What?" Hannah mouthed back.

He pulled her away from the door until they stood at the back of her office and could talk a little bit louder.

"What the hell is so wrong with wanting just a few minutes close to you, Hannah?"

"We can't open that door and just stand in the doorway. We both want to go through and we cannot do that Aaron! Stop tempting me."

"You stop tempting me."

"What are you talking about?"

"You were sending me all the signals."

"That I what, wanted to make out and screw on the loveseat? Get your head out of the gutter."

"We would never have gone that far!"

"Do you seriously think either one of us has that much control?" A knock at the door cut their argument short. "I'm letting him in. Just smile and act like everything is fine."

"Smile?" Aaron rolled his eyes. "Yeah, because Reid will find that perfectly natural."

"When you're in my company, or Haley's, they always do." Hannah said of the whole team.

At that, she walked away and opened the door, a perfect smile on her face. Aaron smiled too, and walked as far as the teapot before he stopped and touched the handkerchief that covered up his bruises. He couldn't hide the handkerchief, and Reid looked inside the office and saw him just as Hannah announced his presence.

"Look who beat you here."

"Hey, Hotch. What's on your neck?"

"Hannah's idea. It helped." Aaron said as he looked at Hannah and removed the handkerchief.

Reid swallowed, and turned a light shade of yellow.

"That's what Perotta did in the junkyard?"

"Don't worry. It looks a lot worse than it feels." Aaron glanced at Hannah with a look that said stay quiet about my lie, and handed her the handkerchief. "Thank you Hannah. I should get home to Haley and Jack now."

"Tell Haley I'm working on the beach trip." Hannah folded the handkerchief and didn't look at him. "I'll call her when I have something more concrete."

"I will. See you tomorrow Reid."

"See you tomorrow." Reid said, "Put some muscle ointment on your neck. That should help."

"I will." Aaron gave them a small nod as he left. "Have a good night."

The last thing Aaron heard as he left Hannah's office stopped him mid step as he turned to look back.

"Do you want to go out on a date tonight?" Reid said.

Hannah grinned, this one not fake, and embraced him.

"Yes!"

Then she glanced up, saw Aaron standing in the hallway watching them, and her eyes widened. So did her pupils.


	10. Derailed

**Disclaimer: CBS owns Criminal Minds. Hannah is my character.**

**Author's Note: Fifth chapter in a weekend. You're welcome. Thanks for still reading, and thank you for the reviews.**

Chapter 9

**Derailed**

Spencer woke up with a dry mouth. He forgot last night that Hannah added extra rum into her margaritas for kick, and maybe to torture him as an added bonus. He rolled out of bed and stumbled into the shower. Fifteen minutes later, after sprays of both hot and cold water, he felt ready for the day, though he still felt a bit hazy and unfocused as he dressed. Given his weight and metabolism, he never learned how to handle a hangover well, even though he understood the science behind it. His wardrobe did not interest him, but after he stared at his closet for a few minutes, he choose. As he reached for the bedroom door, Spencer grinned and slipped into ninja stealth mode.

Hannah stood at the stove. She stirred meat on the skillet when Spencer snuck up behind her. For a few seconds he just watched her. When he saw how comfortable she looked, he leaned in closer and whispered with his best scary movie voice two inches from her ear.

"Deadly margaritas!"

Hannah jumped and a girlish scream erupted from of her throat. She spun around, the wooden spoon in her hand like a weapon, but Spencer caught her wrist and laughed. After she cursed him under her breath, she laughed too.

"Jerk, you scared the hell out of me!" Hannah gave him a light punch on the arm.

"Consider it payback for getting me drunk last night."

"You love my margaritas." Hannah said before she gave him a quick kiss, then turned around and got right back to work on breakfast.

Spencer moved in beside her, leaned over the stove top, and inhaled.

"This smells awesome."

"Thank you. Get away. It's not ready yet." Hannah elbowed him away from the food. "Now go set the breakfast table."

"Yes chef." Spencer saluted her and received a stink eye and half a smile in return.

"I thought we could be spontaneous tonight if you're in town. Have crazy fun and wonder how it happened."

Spencer's face almost split from the grin.

"Sweet."

* * *

The night started out fun, but that didn't last after Spencer shared his exploits in Texas as he and Hannah walked home. She reacted the opposite of what he expected. In all the previous months that he shared his work with her, Hannah never reacted with such anger, outside of the rape cases. When she exploded, Hannah pushed him and Spencer fell back against an old sedan. He expected a car alarm, but one glance at the model revealed the pre-alarm age.

"That's funny? You almost died but don't worry cause I used a magic trick against a guy with a gun? Are you kidding me?" Hannah said in one breath. "You could have been killed, Spencer. That's not funny!"

Spencer grabbed her arm as she walked away but Hannah pulled away.

"Hannah!"

"I do not want to talk to you tonight! Go to bed. I'll be in the guest room in the morning."

"Hannah, stop!"

"No! I'm sick of your job and your life and you are never home!"

"What are you talking about? I've been home for months, Hannah!"

"And then you go to Texas for a few hours and almost get shot by a mental patient." Hannah felt the tears but pushed them back. "That was stupid, Spencer!"

"I had the situation under control!"

"Whatever. You say that now."

"You're drunk Hannah. I'm not arguing about this now. Not when you're drunk. It's pointless." Spencer waited for her reply but instead Hannah stormed off down the street, and not in the direction of home. "Hannah? Where are you going?"

"The bar! And then I might call Jenna and crash at her place. Don't expect me to come home tonight!"

Instead of fighting her, Spencer turned and walked away, hands in his pockets, head down. He didn't look back until he reached the end of the block. Hannah stood at the opposite end of the block, cell phone in her hands. She didn't look back, and after he waited another few seconds, Spencer vanished around the corner.

Hannah almost dropped her phone in the middle of the text and messed up the message: _So mad at him now going to Martin's haven for more drinks meet me please!_

She hit send and dropped the phone in her pocket as she crossed the street. A few miles away, Aaron grabbed his cell phone as it vibrated on his night stand. As he read the message in the phone's glow, he translated the haven to tavern and wondered what happened between Hannah and Spencer as he fell back to sleep next to his wife.

* * *

The next morning Aaron parked in front of Jenna's house. Jenna saw him pull up and opened the door in the middle of his knock. She crossed her arms, and glared at him, her head cocked in her signature disappointed stance. As Hannah's best friend, Jenna knew all the details Spencer didn't, or they suspected he didn't know. Aaron received a lot of glares from her over the years, so this glare didn't frighten him, but he grew nervous as she continued to stand there.

"Good morning Jenna." Aaron said, "Can I talk to her?"

Jenna stepped back and gestured him inside.

"She's in the guest bedroom." Jenna said, then grabbed his arm as he headed that way. "You're not going in there! Wait in the kitchen with the boys while I toss her hungover ass in the shower."

Aaron still tried to follow her but when Jenna cast a dirty look over her shoulder, he obeyed and turned into the kitchen. Marcus and Danny, her husband and her son, looked up at him when he entered. While Danny slid the large platter of sausage and pancakes over for him, Marcus grinned, crossed his arms and leaned back against the fridge. Danny looked at his father, received permission in the form of a nod, then left the kitchen.

"Man, is Jenna mad at you."

"I'm used to that, but is Hannah mad at me?"

"She was mostly cursing Spencer when Jenna brought her home last night, but I think I heard her drop your name too. What did you do?"

"I didn't join her at the bar after she fought with Reid. She did text me after midnight when I was already in bed."

"Asleep or not asleep?"

"It didn't seem wise to leave. If Haley woke up and I was gone I didn't want to lie to her about where I went and I didn't want to tell her that I left to see Hannah at the bar."

"You're kinda screwed either way you think about it."

"That's obvious, given my current situation with Hannah."

Marcus didn't reply, but instead pulled out a plate, knife and fork for Aaron.

Aaron ate a pancake, no syrup, and a few sausages before Jenna walked in, a wet and hungover Hannah behind her in one of Jenna's bathrobes.

"You two can go talk in the study. Where there isn't a bed or a couch." Jenna said under her breath to Aaron as she cleared away his empty plate.

With one quick look at Aaron, Hannah turned and walked back down the hall. Aaron followed. When she veered toward the guest bedroom, he grabbed hold of her wrist. He led her into the study at the end of the hall and closed the door behind them.

"I don't want to talk in here." Hannah said.

"Well I don't want to talk in the bedroom."

Aaron looked everywhere but at her and put some distance between them.

"Don't want to or don't feel comfortable?"

"You know that answer." Aaron said as he turned around.

"I'm not going to toss you down on the bed Aaron." Hannah looked at him, a small grin on her face as she said, "Or would you toss me down?"

The startled swallow and head jerk when Aaron looked up and into her eyes answered Hannah's question. With one hand she reached down, put her thumb inside the knot that held her bathrobe together, and pulled. Aaron's eyes widened and he crossed the room in two steps, just as the knot came loose. Hannah pulled the robe open with her free hand but Aaron stopped her. He closed the robe and didn't look down at her naked body even once. The whole time he kept his eyes on hers.

"Damn it Hannah. Don't. We agreed. Do not violate your own rule."

Aaron turned away to give her some privacy. When she didn't fix the robe and Aaron didn't turn back, Hannah sighed and pulled the robe tighter around her body. Then Aaron turned back.

"Is that why you didn't show up last night? Because you thought this would happen?" Hannah said as she gestured her tied bathrobe.

"Hannah, I didn't show up at the bar because I was asleep next to my wife. I made it clear in your office that I chose my wife."

"I know what decision you made. Need I remind you what happened the next time you came by my office? The make-out session you tried to start in the middle of my nursing your neck?"

"That was hardly an attempt at a make-out session. But it was a moment of weakness and I'm sorry it happened. I already apologized for it, and I went home to my wife."

"You went home because Spencer showed up! If he hadn't, what would you have done?"

"Nothing, Hannah! That was the last time anything like that happened between us and I don't need you reminding me of how I almost betrayed Haley."

"Haley had nothing to do with last night, Aaron! Last night, I just needed a friend."

"And I knew you would call Jenna when I didn't answer. I didn't think it was appropriate for me to text you back in the middle of the night after our last discussion in your office."

"That sounds like a great excuse but I don't buy it. Haley knows we're good friends and that wasn't the first time we text well after midnight. I needed a friend and Jenna was not the friend I needed. I needed you because I needed to talk to you about what Spencer did in Texas!"

"What about Texas?"

"I got upset at him for how he spoke about it. Spencer almost got shot and he's proud of himself for using a magic trick and talking the guy down. When I heard him talk like that...I already had a few drinks in me and I lost it. I started yelling at him and just left him to walk home alone while I went to the bar. In hindsight, I know I overreacted, but I don't think Spencer has realized the gravity of what happened on that train. It just bothers me when he talks like that."

Aaron remained quiet as he weighed what Hannah said.

"Reid was our best option for getting those hostages out alive. He could do the trick to convince the gunman his imagined chip had been removed and he figured out which mental illness the gunman had." Aaron stopped for a minute as he stared out the window, lost for a moment in thought before he turned back. "I saw him after we got everyone off that train and I watched him on the plane. You do have a point about his reaction to all of it. I'll keep my eye on him, but we compartmentalize these things. It helps us get through the cases."

"You don't have to lecture me about psychology Aaron. I was raised by the famous doctors Darrow remember? Spencer's not compartmentalizing Texas. From the way he talked about it, he was deflecting. He bragged about it. Spencer brags when he deflects. It's his defense mechanism."

"I didn't see that yesterday."

"I did." She sighed and said, "You'll let me know if anything happens?"

"I'll keep an eye on him. We'll keep each other in the loop."

"Agreed."

"Can I drive you home?"

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why?"

"Because the longer I stay in your presence, the more I want to remove this bathrobe and your clothes, and we both know why we can't do that."

Hannah's directness produced a rare blink from Aaron. It unnerved him that she could effect him like that. His back stiffened and for a moment he couldn't move, not until Hannah closed the gap. Her hands landed on his chest and moved toward his shirt buttons, but Aaron grabbed her wrists and spun her around. Confused and a bit frightened by the sudden change in his behavior and body language, Hannah fought him, but when Aaron hugged her arms at her side and applied pressure, she understood. As a little girl she learned the trick from her parents. They used it on their patients and their children, a favorite way to calm down someone in the middle of a panic or anxiety attack when they couldn't administer Haldol. Though, it never before occurred to Hannah that sympathetic nervous system suppression could subdue the sex drive. Until now. Sometimes Aaron surprised her.

"Stop this." Aaron said into her ear. "Stop this! We can't. You know we can't. This can't happen. It cannot happen. Just calm down. Breathe, and calm down. I'll let you go when you're calm, and only then."

"I'm not ready." Hannah said as her breath came out in panicked heaves. "I'm not ready."

"I know."

"No, I can't stop this. I can't stop how I feel, Aaron." She felt tears in her eyes and tried blinking them away. "I can't stop feeling what I feel for you and it's driving me crazy."

A single tear rolled down the side of her nose and Aaron saw it. He buried his face in her hair and whispered as he tried to keep it together.

"I know, I know, I'm so sorry! I'm sorry Hannah."

"We can't help it. We just can't." Hannah inhaled a deep breath before she said, "I need you to hold me tighter. You're not holding me tight enough. You have to hold me tighter or it won't work."

Aaron corrected his hold with Hannah's help. They stayed that way for two minutes and the whole time neither of them spoke. Once Hannah felt her heart rate drop back into her normal range, she tapped his wrist. He released her and stepped back.

"Hannah," Aaron studied her face, ready to grab and hold her until she calmed down again. "How do you feel?"

"Feel? I feel like I'm stuck in a loop! Like we're stuck in a loop." Hannah said as her real anger leapt out of her. "Damn it Aaron! How many times must we have this same fight? We want to but we can't, we want to but we can't! How many times?"

"You're the one who keeps attacking me, Hannah!"

"Bullshit." Hannah said and brought up their last physical confrontation. "The hospital stairwell! I wouldn't have been surprised if you had taken me right there. When you pressed me against that wall with your body, that's what I thought was going to happen, and despite being angry with you, I wouldn't have stopped you if you tried. I would have welcomed you! And you would have done it too, when you were staring at my lips, if I hadn't stopped you. But what if I hadn't tried to stop you?"

"One of these days I'm not going to stop you!" Aaron's tone turned thick as he said, "I just won't have the strength anymore."

The rest of Hannah's argument died right there. For a few seconds she just stared at Aaron before she turned away.

"Fuck!"

Aaron nodded as he looked away too.

"Can we even remain friends given the circumstances?" Aaron said.

"Don't Aaron." Hannah turned back to him and Aaron saw the fear in her eyes. "Do not even go there. That's not even a possibility and we both know it."

With that statement, Hannah ended the argument. She stood at the window and stared out. A minute passed before either spoke.

"Can I drive you home?" Aaron said again.

"No." Hannah said with more force than last time. "I'm not stopping at home this morning. I have clothes in the guest bedroom and my office keys in my purse. Marcus already said he'll drive me as he heads to work."

"I'll leave you to it then."

"Aaron." Hannah looked back and said, "Don't talk to Spencer about our fight last night. Don't even mention to him that we talked this morning."

The room fell into silence again. Hannah stared past him at the study door until Aaron nodded and opened it. He gave her a shy smile as he slipped out.

"Bye." Aaron said as he left her alone in the study and closed the door between them.

It took her two steps to cross the room. She pressed her ear against the door and listened. Aaron's footsteps disappeared once the front door closed. Hannah stepped back, bunched the fabric of her borrowed bathrobe against her mouth, and screamed into it.


	11. The Popular Kids

**Disclaimer: CBS owns Criminal Minds, but Hannah is my character.**

**Author's Note: Sorry I have haven't posted in weeks! I moved to another state and started a new job that has kept me busy. I'll try to post at least once a week if I can. Please review!**

Chapter 10

**The Popular Kids**

Hannah sat at her office desk with a red pen and a stack of papers. She hummed along with a jazz CD when Aaron walked in and closed the door behind him. With so few evening classes in her building that night, or other professors around, he didn't bother to watch his volume.

"When we agreed to keep each other in the loop, you should have mentioned then that Reid's been having nightmares about the job." Aaron stopped at her desk, his knuckles on the edge. "I would have looked at his behavior following the train incident in Texas differently."

"Aaron, I can't tell you what I don't know." Hannah put her pen down. "Spencer's having nightmares?"

"You sleep next to him, Hannah, how could you not know?"

He studied her face and body language for any sign of deception.

"Spencer hasn't said anything in his sleep, or screamed, and he hasn't even tossed and turned." Hannah's chair flew back as she stood her knuckles on the papers. "That's how I didn't know about his nightmares. I haven't seen any signs! Spencer never said anything about nightmares, even when I fought with him about what he did in Texas."

"He's hiding it. Reid probably feared I would take him off the team, put him on leave, or give him a psychological evaluation."

"Wait, so Spencer told _you_ he's having nightmares?"

"No, Reid didn't tell me. He told Morgan, and Morgan told Jason and I about it so we can help him. Jason spoke to him on the plane on the way back. He thinks Reid's fine."

"I don't get it. Spencer just started opening up to me on how the cases effect him, but he hides his nightmares?" Hannah crossed her office and sank onto her small sofa. "How do I bring this up with him, Aaron? He'll know you came to me."

Aaron sat down beside her. Their legs touched and Hannah looked down at them, but Aaron didn't.

"Then let him know I came to you. Jason and I can only help him at work. You have to help him at home, but you can't help him if he doesn't let you know what's wrong."

Hannah folded her arms across her waist, turned so she faced him, and looked Aaron in the eye.

"Aaron, I have to have a line."

"What do you mean?"

Aaron glanced down at the two inch space between them.

"I mean Spencer has to trust that I'm not running to you with everything he confides in me."

"You don't. You didn't even know about the nightmares. I had to tell you about that. Not the other way around. You can't violate his trust if he doesn't tell you about these things."

"What if he didn't confide in me about his nightmares because he thought I would tell you?"

"Would you have told me?"

"No, I would not have told you about the nightmares. That's for him to do, not me."

"Do you think he doesn't trust you?"

"I think he's afraid of telling me certain things and it wouldn't be any different if we were only friends and not dating. Spencer's very private."

"Talk to him about this." Aaron remembered the team's upcoming mandatory vacation and reminded Hannah. "The team has some vacation days next week. Do you and Reid have plans?"

"I'm joining him in Las Vegas for a few weekend shows."

"When you're in Vegas with Reid, you should talk to him."

"I will, but about what? Us or him?"

A bit of color drained from Aaron's face, and he tried to keep the stress from her question out of his voice.

"What do you mean?"

"You know _exactly_ what I mean." Hannah glared at him, her body language no longer relaxed, but hostile. "If he hasn't already figured out what's between us then he's an idiot, and Spencer is _not_ an idiot. You and I can no longer afford to act like we aren't playing this game."

"What do you expect me to do Hannah? I work with him."

"Be honest with him! I want to tell him the truth while we're in Vegas."

"Fine! Tell him the truth, but don't expect him to speak to me about it. We don't discuss you at work. Reid and I maintain our working relationship." When Hannah stood up from the sofa and walked into the center of the office, Aaron noted her balled up fists and raised shoulders. "What are you so angry about Hannah?"

"I'm willing to tell Spencer everything and you have no intention of telling Haley the truth."

"The truth about what?" Aaron threw his hands out in front of him. "You and are not having an affair!"

"Sexually, no, but emotionally?" Hannah's pent up emotional and sexual frustration burst forth. "Fuck yes we are! You have done nothing but play with my emotions for months."

Aaron's eyes narrowed.

"I'll remind you that's a two way street, and well traveled on your side."

"Yes, just blame everything on me and my sex drive!" In three steps she crossed to the door, opened it, and spoke in a whisper. "Go home to your _wife_ Aaron."

"Hannah-" Aaron stopped in front of her but she pushed him the rest of he way into the hall.

"You just keep doing whatever you want with your life, but leave me alone until you can actually _leave me alone_!"

With that she slammed the door in his face and locked it.

They both stood on opposite sides of the door for a minute, Aaron's palm on one side, Hannah's forehead on the other, their breaths shallow and quiet.


End file.
